For those who don't go to TCO all the time... I think 'goth said alot of our feelings just perfectly:
As more and more info has come out on this disaster, I find myself struggling more and more to come to terms with everything that happened and how it all went down... I mean like I said before... a lot of you are not wrestling fans and could care less about the business and the destructive toll it's taken on it's participants..... but I keep finding myself spinning in circles to think how a guy who was the MODEL for everything that was right in the business I so love and am devoted to, but I'm still at a loss to absorb EVERYTHING that transpired and how that vision we all had of Benoit was really a cover for the sick perfectionist that he was and how it destroyed him, those close to him and eventually killed a small bit of EVERY fan that cared and rooted for this guy.... so I take word for a word a post from teamcanadaonline.net... because I think 'goth nailed it DEAD on!
www.teamcanadaonline.net/index.php?page=106 Reconciling the Benoit Tragedy
by Antigoth on Today at 04:10:00 pm
Before I write anything, I feel it necessary to make the following statements:
“Team Canada Online does not support, condone, endorse, or sanctify any act that involves taking a life.”
What follows is my own personal discussion regarding the Benoit tragedy. These are my own personal feelings and views. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. What you are reading is the first draft of my thoughts without revision. I reserve the right to be incorrect and revise my comments as I am corrected. I also reserve the right to add onto what is below as more information becomes available.
For many years when the discussions came up of “who was your hero?” outside of my Grandfather I was never able to recognize any one individual as someone who I looked to as a hero. Then last night when I got home from work I was alerted that Chris Benoit has died. Suddenly I realized that beyond my grandfather I had at least one more hero.
Chris Benoit is someone who had a dream. From a very young age he chased that dream, travelling across the world to achieve it. Undoubtedly you have either already heard Chris Benoit’s journey, and if you have not, you can watch his DVD from the WWE or look here:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_BenoitWhat struck me, and was touched on repeatedly through the WWE tribute, is that Chris Benoit was described as “Passionate” and “Intense”. The fact that Jim Ross chose to leave the sports entertainer moniker behind and simply call Benoit a “Wrestler” was very telling. I first saw Benoit in the WCW back during the mid 90s. One of my first memories was watching him in his feud with Raven, and I was impressed. Very quickly his skill, technique, and aforementioned intensity made me a fan. Chris Benoit was one of the factors that drew me to consistently watch WCW, not the N.W.O, not Goldberg, but Chris Benoit.
I think my respect for Benoit deepened when he switched from WCW to WWE. Here you are in a company, who has disrespected you, ignored you, and now they realize the talent you have, and to try and keep you, they are willing to make you the top man in their business. Many people might have stayed, happy to be given a championship. But to Benoit it was more then that. Most people recognized that by going to the WWE he would probably never get a shot at the championship. He was not big enough, he was not one of Vince’s hand made guys, but he was living by his heart, and doing what he thought was right.
I never met Chris Benoit. I do not know the man personally, have never spoken with him and only knew him as the tough as nails character he portrayed on TV. However I did have friends who wrestled in the indys. They all respected Benoit. I saw the respect he garnered from his peers and his co-workers. The stories that I have heard from friends who have met him all indicated that he was gracious, honorable, and one of the best possible ambassadors for the sport of wrestling.
As a fan, I watched match after match where he set the bar in the ring. His feud with Angle is legendary. Rarely have I seen fans give a standing ovation after the first minute of a match as I had seen between these two. I cannot remember another wrestler who lost and still received a lengthy standing ovation from the crowd. No he could not cut an interview if his life depended on it. His actions in the ring spoke volumes.
Realizing that he was gone, I suddenly realized that yes, Chris Benoit was a hero to me. He symbolized what it was to strive for something, and to live a dream. Then he was gone, and rumors started to drift in.
At first with little details, I was questioning, “Was he murdered?” “Did his family have some sort of horrific illness?”
By midnight last night I was numb. The police had ruled that they were treating the tragedy as a murder-suicide. While I write this there is no concrete answer as to what exactly happened. There is only speculation and unconfirmed rumors. However I am not so ignorant as to be unable to accept what is most likely true. It begs one massive question, how do I reconcile the actions of a real and most likely ill person, with the preconceived image of my hero?
Two things have stood out in my mind as I have given it far too much thought over the last day. Upon hearing that Benoit always had his son in a suit and tie, and that he was always reminding his son about being well behaved, part of me sees a “daddy dearest” personae. It made me wonder if he was someone who wanted the outside world to see the perfect family, regardless of what damage it did inside the house. Hearing the testimonials from HHH, and Stephanie really started to evoke that image. Then at first what seemed to be a stark contrast is Chavo’s testimonial about how much Benoit let him into his family, and how close their families were.
As I sit here and write about it, pulled away every now and then for meetings, the whole picture seems to gel more and more. As someone who came from a family where the maternal figures were driven regarding presenting an image to the outside world, I now begin to understand how the two seeming different people were one in the same. Seeing the details where Benoit placed Bibles next to his wife and son cinched it for me.
[Disclaimer time revisited. I am not an authority on anything. My formal education is in philosophy, so it really has no bearing on any of this. I am writing this for my own purposes of coming to terms with the tragedy we have been presented with. None of this I present as fact, merely conjecture on my part.]
Who was Chris Benoit? I think the words devout, passionate, intense, and obsessive can all apply to this man. I also feel it’s safe to say that anyone capable of such a deranged act is also ill. JBL and HHH both told stories of how important respect was to Benoit. JBL telling the story of how some younger talent were not allowed to dress in the dressing room because they did not show proper respect. HHH relating the story where a young brash wrestler who disrespected HBK was forced to do 1000 squats with Benoit, and the following day when the young wrestler could not sit, Benoit forced him to do 500 more.
Will we ever know why exactly Benoit chose to make those horrific last few actions that have forever tarnished the accomplishments he garnered throughout his career? Most likely we never will. For me the next question becomes how much do we cherish and laud his professional accomplishments apart from his final actions?
That becomes much more difficult for me. Would this have happened regardless of Benoit’s professional life? Possibly, but it comes down to the question of whether or not we a predestined to a certain fate. Could there have been an intervention that could have prevented it? Was this act the culmination of a hard fought life, where too many hits to the head combined with medications used?
I have heard a few people mention their concern that this could have been as a result of “roid rage”. Currently all reports from the Atlanta Police indicate that all medications were prescription. Steroids are used in a number of instances to treat medical conditions, so I am confident that Benoit’s physique was garnered through obsessive hard work. However I do not doubt that his image is going to be tarnished because he was using Steroids, although this blemish is not deserved (in my eyes).
The main question that still needs to be answered is how many of his professional accolades are now tainted by what drove him to his final action. By and large Benoit was a quite person who kept to him self. We know this from the countless interviews provided by his peers. His neighbors have commented that they were a quite family that kept to them selves. There is enough commentary that his wrestling spoke for him, and that he really did not need to cut promos. So we have someone whom obsessively or fanatically worked to construct or build an image.
That obsession is what drove him in his every match. That obsession is what made him drive his opponents in his matches. It has often been said that Benoit could have wrestled a broomstick, and made it seem like a credible opponent. This was proclaimed as dedication to professional wrestling. Could it possibly be viewed as fanaticism? When something is no longer classified as dedication, but as fanaticism it does not sound as positive as it once did.
I realize now that I have flushed out my ideas far more in my head, and I think I have now reconciled who the seemingly two different people are. Regardless this is a tragedy that is going to mar the world of professional wrestling for sometime to come. At the moment I feel deeply for the following people:
The Benoit Family who now have to try and come to terms with the loss of a grandson, brother, etc.
The Daus Family who have lost a daughter, a grandson, in the most tragic fashion possible.
Benoit’s first wife and children, whom I ca not imagine what they are going through right now.
Friends and co-workers of the Benoit family, guys like Chavo Guerrero and Dean Malenko who were possibly the closest people to Benoit. If as a fan I am having a hard time reconciling this, the emotional agony they must be experiencing right now is unimaginable.
Wrapping this up for the moment, I leave two more questions that I wonder about. William Regal was very reserved, and unwilling to comment much at the time. I question what else he has to say, and what drove him to reserve his comments.
Will Benoit ever make it into the Hall of Fame? I fear this will be a polarizing subject for some time to come.
I want to thank all of my users who so far have been very respectful of this tragic situation, and urge all of you to continue to do so. Thanks for reading. For those of you who have been as troubled over this tragedy as I have, I hope some of this has been useful.
